Sunday, February 7, 2010

Nincompoops Anonymous

This was one of the first posts on my other blog "Syllable Soup". Upon rereading it, I have determined it belongs on this blog, since Soup has evolved into something more political & pop cultured with lots of snippets and links.

I've never been habitual. Is that so bad? I mean, who wants to live life in a deep rut, putting foot in front of plodding foot, never deviating from sameness and always? I like to think my unpredictable nature makes me fascinating and compelling. My husband calls it exasperating. In his opinion, I'm predictably unpredictable.

For example, he says he can't predict where he'll find my car keys, but he can predict they won't be on the key rack. He postulates that there is no biological link between my brain and the hand the puts down eyeglasses, wine glasses, wallets, cell phones...and car keys.

Well, the reason I may appear forgetful at times is because my quick mind is moving like a drag strip racecar, while my body follows on a moped. Those car keys were in the microwave because they happened to be in my hand when I was thinking about supper. Understand?

Okay, I won't deny it. I'll spend $100 on groceries and not buy milk which is what I went to the grocery store to buy in the first place. Can I help it that friends always show up in the dairy aisle? I get distracted.

Alright, alright, I admit that I forget to take shirts to the laundry, water plants, feed the fish and call my mother...Okay, so I'm slightly absentminded at times. My husband says it's beyond absentmindedness, it's "nincompoopedness".

Nincompoopedness. What kind of word is that? Is it like being "brain dead" or just "clueless"? Why "nincompoopedness"? What's wrong with "absentminded"? Professors can be absentminded, why can't I? Would growing a beard help?

Well, if I'm a nincompoop, it's God's fault. He made me this way for some mysterious purpose related to His Divine Plan. Who can understand why God does what He does--I mean, can anyone explain why He created mosquitoes? I wouldn't exactly call God unpredictable, but rather "predictably unfathomable".

Actually, now that I think about it, which would I rather be? An unfathomable, predictably unpredictable nincompoop or a predictably predictable "creature of habit" like my husband?

Oops, I better get the laundry to the dry cleaners before they close. Now where did I put those car keys?